Inconsistency

I always want to find myself as someone who is conscientious in every aspect of my life. But, a few weeks ago, I blew it. I knew that I had blown it and it was going to stay under my skin and broil itself there. Unless I did something about it.

For Operation Christmas Glory, we had just finished our first fundraiser which turned out to be more successful than we had thought it would be. We spent two days outside an Alberton's talking about what we have been doing. We were doing a fundraiser at Panda Express, so we had expected to be handing out fliers for it and inviting people to go eat there. Well, as we were out there talking about what we were doing, people didn't want to go to Panda and eat they just wanted to donate for us to be able to get our boxes sent out. The main goal of the "Panda Express" fundraiser was to get our name out, and rally up some local knowledge for fundraising ideas and the like. We never expected to get such a great response for our efforts. It was exhasting, but amazing!

So after having such a success, we went our separate ways... Jenny went home with Dadu and Leanna, and Brian and I headed to grab some sandwiches from the Safeway deli. On the two block drive to Safeway, both Brian and I were irritable. A snippy word was said, we got even more grouchy, and then our attitudes were toast. Or well, mine was.

We were walking down the laundry isle, I was looking for salad area. But, I was also angry and frustrated, and mostly growling inside myself. As we walked down the isle, (I think) I made eye contact, and slightly smiled. The lady stopped, looked at me, and said, "Thank you for your smile, that's exactly what I needed!" I didn't even stop and wonder until I had walked away. I just looked at her as I stomped by and said, "Your welcome!", and continued to walk away with an enormous grumpy storm cloud over my head. I got half way down the next isle, and suddenly it dawned on me how much energy I had put into being angry.

Then I started to analyze my reaction to the situation. How on earth could my angry, half-way, crooked, smirk of a smile be something that made someone's day! How awful her day must have been! Why did I have to be so stuck into myself and not stop to ask how a fellow person was!

I had to go back and find her! I had to go and find out if there was possibly something, somehow that I could make her day better than what it was! My heart was so upset about the situation that I just hoped...that there was a way she could possibly still be in the store!

After much time agonizing over the situation...I found her in the check out lane. I just had to be sure she was actually ok. She was. And somehow she really was blessed by my "angry, half-way, crooked, smirk of a smile".

Although I may have agonized over this situation too much. But, what if someone else just needed some kind of extra-loving human contact. Just someone to stop and really ask them how they really are.... I want to be that person. I want to be the one who is conscientious about reacting to others. Next time I will try to be more aware.